Welcome back or for the first time; I appreciate your time.
To get the most out of my writing, you should read carefully and ask yourself if you agree or disagree, and whether or not you’re going to take action based on what you will be reading.
I hope you’ll give yourself the chance to improve!
Have you ever doubted yourself, thinking, “I can’t do this,” before tackling something, only for it to turn out poorly? On the flip side, have you ever confidently said, “I’m good at this,” and found it to be amazing? This is common because what we tell ourselves influences our actions. The thoughts we plant in our subconscious and the words following “I am” become our reality, shaping our self-belief and actions. It’s a cycle we must consciously break to create change.
To illustrate, let’s revisit 1954, when everyone believed humans couldn’t run a mile in under 4 minutes. The world record stood at 4 minutes and 1.4 seconds, unbroken for nearly 9 years. Runners convinced themselves it was impossible, saying, “I can’t run under 4 minutes,” and no one did until Roger Bannister shattered that belief with a 3:59.4 record in 1954. What’s remarkable is that his record lasted just 46 days until John Landy ran a 3:58.0. After that, many athletes achieved sub-4-minute miles. The change didn’t come from technology, training, or running technique; it came from the shift in athletes’ beliefs. They transformed their thinking from “I can’t do it” to “I know it’s possible, and I can do it too!”
Why We Often Focus on Our Weaknesses
When we encounter challenges, our initial thoughts tend to be negative, like “I’m not good at this,” or “It went badly last time,” or “Others have failed, so I will too.” Rarely do we immediately think, “I’m good at this; let’s go for it!”
Why is that?
Our society encourages modesty and suggests that thinking less of ourselves is a way to gain acceptance. Expressing our strengths can sometimes make us appear arrogant. Parents, too, often point out their children’s limitations. While setting boundaries is necessary, some dreams, like becoming an astronaut, are discouraged, leading children to give up because they’re told it’s impossible.
What’s the problem with this?
Firstly, we stop believing in ourselves. When we dwell on our weaknesses, it’s natural to lose confidence. Secondly, we limit ourselves. If we continually tell ourselves we’re not good at something, the chance of improvement decreases, and we might not even make the effort to get better.
For instance, I used to think I was terrible at public speaking. Even though I’m not as skilled as some, I changed my mindset. Rather than thinking, “I’m really bad at this, and it’ll be a disaster,” I now view it as a chance to learn and improve. I consider it a valuable learning opportunity. While the outcome may be similar, I’ve freed myself from the pressure of perfection. Even if I make a single improvement or note something to change for the next time, it’s a win and a step in the right direction. Few people excel at something without practicing it for hours and hours and the dedication to do so.
How Others Influence Our Beliefs
Other people’s words, opinions, or our perception of them can significantly affect our self-belief. Consider that child aspiring to become an astronaut. If no one immediately told them it was impossible, they might have held onto their dream. The dream could have continued, and if the child consistently put in the effort required, they might have achieved it one day. Even if, after ten years, they changed their mind, it would be a personal decision, not one imposed by someone else.
It’s also easier when we have people supporting us rather than working against us. Imagine someone wanting to lose a significant amount of weight and make lifestyle changes. Who do you think is more likely to achieve their goal? Person 1, told by their entire social group that it’s impossible and too hard, or Person 2, surrounded by supportive people who believe in their ability to achieve the goal? The answer is clear. When others believe in us, it’s easier for us to believe in ourselves. Achieving something without anyone else’s belief in us requires far more energy.
What’s worse is that often it’s not what people say or think about us, but what we believe they think about us. There’s a quote:
“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.”
~ Charles Horton Cooley
Read that again if you need to.
If we believe that someone thinks we can’t achieve our goal, we start to believe it too, even without knowing if our assumption about the other person’s belief is accurate.
Never believe something about yourself that is merely based on your perception of what other think.
The Impact of Focusing on Who You want to Be
Think about the person you want to become and how you want to act in specific situations. Once you have a clear image of this, you can start instilling those characteristics in your mind to become that person.
For example, I introduced positive self-affirmations during my meditation. One of the lines I repeat to myself is, “I am calm and in control.” I used to easily get overwhelmed, especially when faced with unexpected situations. However, since I started telling my mind that I am calm and in control, things have changed significantly. I no longer get stressed easily, and if I do, I remind myself of that affirmation and focus on what I can do. I’ve seen the most significant change at work. When there’s a lot of work or unexpected issues, I used to get stressed because of the workload. But now, I tackle each task and handle any new issues calmly before returning to my original tasks. This change doesn’t make me faster or more efficient, but I get things done without much stress.
Your thoughts and self-talk matter because they shape your subconscious mind, which, in turn, influences your actions. What you place after the words “I am” eventually becomes your reality in some form. Therefore, it’s crucial to infuse as many positive statements as possible after “I am.” If you catch yourself thinking negatively or doubting yourself, such as “I am not able to do…,” try to transform that into a positive affirmation.
What you place after the words ‘I am’ eventually becomes your reality
Start by feeding your mind with positive thoughts about yourself. In the beginning, focus on a few key characteristics. Write them down and read or repeat them daily.
My greatest wish is for you to start creating the life you want, but only you can take action toward that!
But for now, I hope you’ll have an amazing week.
Jonas